Mother’s Day is the Opiate of the Mamas
Ariela Haro von Mogel May 9th, 2009
I am a dyed-in-the-wool Mama’s girl and an adamant feminist. Yet, I still believe Mother’s Day, as a national holiday and institution, is a crock of bull plop. Bull plop! How about I be nicer about it…. Mother’s Day is a Sham Holiday. Sham Wow! (Hat tip to Why Women Hate Men). Anyways, I just realized that I have never really gotten my Mom anything special for Mother’s Day. I’m sure as a kid I did something lame like give her some burned-a** waffles in bed and skipped off back to my room. But other than that, I haven’t given her some stereotypically feminine gift that was pink and red and exclaimed “Happy Mother’s Day.”
You know why, because Mother’s Day is a Sham holiday. Now, I’m not talking about how certain individuals or households feel about their mothers. I’m talking on a national level and as a celebrated commercial holiday – Mother’s Day is all about making women who are mothers feel that they are important and deserve a day of recognition. The rest of the year, though, this country totally disrespects women and mothers. I mean, this country still tries to deny women access to safe and legal abortions! But, we love you…SMOOCH…here’s your flowers dear mother. Give me a break. This country in general disses women day in and day out, but there’s a holiday that’s supposed to make women feel like they matter.
Even my own mother, who is by no means a strident feminist like myself, badmouthed Mother’s Day. I called her up, and was sure I didn’t give my opinion first so as not to bias her, and asked what is her opinion of Mother’s Day. In characteristically super-cute broken English, she said it was a way for companies to make money and to keep women in their place. She then went on to tell me that back in Mexico, she knew two women who for Mother’s Day received a vacuum cleaner and ironing board for Mother’s Day! Wow, that is so incredibly blatant that I kind of respect it. “Happy Mother’s Day. We love you. Here’s a gift from the family.” Mother opening the gift. “Oooohhh, a vacuum cleaner! Now I don’t have to pick up lint off the floor anymore! You guys really love me. Muchas Gracias mi familia.”
Happy Mother’s Day! Enjoy your new vacuum!
I think I gasped with laughter on that one. And let me tell you again my Mom can be rather traditional about gender roles. She still chides me if I don’t make dinner every night and expects me to dote on my husband. But when she told me this, I was like, Damn, if my Mom is gonna put the smack down, then Mother’s Day is a sham.
All in all, I think Mother’s Day, like the totally un-PC Secretaries Day, is a way for our society as a whole to act like women actually matter. Women can be so blinded by this holiday and its negatively gendered overtones, that they can be deceived by a gift of flowers and candy, while the rest of the year, their family expects them to do all kinds of unacknowledged, unpaid, and socially demeaned labor. Woman on Pedestal as substitute for Woman as Workhorse. It happens with the deification of women in the main world religions. Pretend that women are socially powerful and holy and give them their own deity. But the rest of the time, be as misogynistic as possible.
Well, I don’t buy it. I am quite content calling my Mom almost everyday, telling her she Rocks the Casbah, and sending her gifts (that I can often make) when I damn well feel like it. Sorry Hallmark, you ain’t getting my money this year.
You are right that this holiday is commercialized, but you could say that about any holiday. Any excuse to get people to buy stuff.
The meaning of a holiday is judged by how you celebrate it, not how everyone else celebrates it. Now that I am an adult, I don’t do much, but when I was younger I always did. Children often take their parents for granted. Mothers and Fathers days were holidays that reminded me to appreciate my parents. I remember doing something special for my mom and dad so they knew I cared. It wasn’t the stuff that mattered, it was the effort that was important. Adults shouldn’t need the reminder, though I’m sure many do. Since you talk to your mother almost everyday, and don’t need the reminder, this holiday is meaningless to you.
Secretaries’ day is a sham holiday. If a Boss appreciates their employees, then this holiday is redundant. If a boss does not appreciate their employees, then they won’t do anything. That only leaves bosses who don’t appreciate their employees, but want to look like they do. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a gift under those circumstances.
Kris