Sociologique

Ariela Haro von Mogel August 19th, 2008

Okay, I have a bone to pick right now. Last weekend, I made the mistake of watching Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay. Well, not really a mistake. I did enjoy most of it. The movie played on a lot of stereotypes and the scenes with Doogie Howser were pretty funny. But, if there’s one thing I can’t stand is when a movie shows partial or total female nudity and only shows an ugly guy naked or totally hides some essential schlong shots from you. God, it makes me sick!!

So anyways, throughout the Harold and Kumar movie, you get a good dose of female T&A. Fine, whatever, just show me the schlong shot. But noooo, when they finally get to a schlong shot of Harold and Kumar, they purposeful pan in on their torsos. What, do the producers think ONLY straight horny teeange boys and young men watch these movies? Don’t some silly females, like myself watch them? Yes we do, and we would like to see nudity in films evened out a little bit. The film, Red Dragon became what it is because perverted females like myself were rewinding the Ralph Fiennes schlong shot like 700 times! Yeah, I said it, and my husband knows about it too. I understand these filmmakers have got to market to their audience and all, I just think there is something seriously wrong with straight young men that they can’t handle a little male nudity akin to the stuff they like, lest they actually get turned on or runaway crying.

Oh, and another thing. It seems that I have been trying to escape this one since I was like 15 years old. I, as a woman, surprisingly enough, do not like romantic movies or novels. They make me want to run and pull my hair. The fact that men are supposed to like violent media that objectifies women and mechanizes sex while women are supposed to like emotional media that emphasizes relationships has never made any sense to me. If there was something in between, that would be really cool. But there really isn’t. So since I was a teenager, I have had several boyfriends assume I would like romantic films because a) they have been told by peers, parents, media that this is what girls like b) it’s not respectful to take them to a film that you like - which is violent and objectifies women! Honestly, I can’t stand romantic movie so much that I would rather watch two hours of Pamela Anderson in Barbed Wire than subject myself to it. But, people assume it anyway and don’t bother to ask.

I remember one of my ex-boyfriend’s was so insistent that we go see a romantic comedy, despite all of my pleas otherwise, that he forcibly took me to see Bridget Jones’ Diary. I was dreading having to sit and watch this movie, and felt very resentful at having been pigeonholed like that. So, as we’re standing there, waiting to buy our tickets, we get told it’s sold out. YES!!! There was actually this homeless guy sitting in a lawn chair next to the box office yelling at passersby that the movie was “Sold Out, Movie’s Sold Out!” When we went up to the line, he said to me, “Hey girly, movie’s sold out.” To which I retorted, “I heard you the first time around.” This homeless guy, no kidding, actually said to me, “Ooohh, a sassy one. Just the way I like ‘em!” Hahahaha. And, as a matter of fact, I tried watching the movie a few months ago and fell asleep with boredom. I have found only one romantic comedy in my life that I like - and it was only because it was quirky and weird. It was called I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With. So yeah, I have liked one romantic comedy, but that’s about it. And Amelie was cool, but there was much more about it that didn’t make it a “romantic comedy.”

There. I said it. I hate romantic comedies, with a passion. Just like I hate military and action films. I have never liked them and I probably never will.

One thing that stood out about my husband was that when we were just friends in college, he invited me to a movie. He had an extra ticket to go see the third Matrix movie. He knew I had the hots for Hugo Weaving as I had a huge poster of him on my wall. So, knowing there was going to be a hundred Agent Smith’s flying around in a fight scene, he knew I was just the girl to take! He didn’t stereotype me or make me go see something that I abhorred. Instead, he actually listened to my likes and dislikes and did the right thing. He let me ogle at Agent Smith!

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