Interracial Dating
Ariela Haro von Mogel June 15th, 2008
It is often argued that interracial romantic relationships are considered taboo in a lot of sectors of society, and that it is better to go out with someone of your own race in order to keep it safe. I would highly disagree. Interracial dating is a lot more complicated than that. My fiance is an American of European heritage and I am an American of Mexican heritage. We are technically an interracial couple, except, I am white-looking, so we are considered acceptable as a couple pretty much anywhere we go. If I was an American of Mexican heritage that looked Mexican, we would be classified as an interracial couple and deemed unacceptable in most circles. I am of course, speaking for society in very general terms.
It is very interesting to see what pairings are or are not considered acceptable. In American culture, it has become very acceptable for whites to date Asians and Hispanics, but not so acceptable to date blacks or Middle-Easterners. Also, it depends on the color of each respective person moreso than their race. My best friend is half-Korean and half-Chinese, and she dated an African man for a year. She constantly complained about the stares, the blatant harassment, and the hatred she received from black women for taking one of “their men.” (As a side note, there are so many men in this world, so don’t limit yourself to a man just because he happens to be in your racial group. He may not be all that much of a catch!) On the flipside, her friend, a dark-skinned Guamanian woman, dated an African guy, and did not receive the same treatment at all. Hmmm. Even though the two women are classified as “Asian,” they had very different skin types, making only one acceptable for interracial dating with a black person.
Of course, interracial dating has more to do than just the color line. It has a lot to do with gender. It seems every other couple I see is a white man with an Asian woman. Yet, I rarely see a white woman with an Asian man. Sociologists have postulated that the reason for this one-sided phenomenon (much to the dismay of Asian men and white women everywhere) is that the attributes that make Asian women so desirable as dating partners to white men do not make Asian men desirable partners to white women. Unfortunately, stereotypes about whites and Asians may have a lot to do with it too. White men may see Asian women as more lady-like, obedient, quiet, feminine and beautiful compared to other women. Asian women may see white men as more egalitarian and fair compared to Asian men. (Ironic - white men have been the greatest colonizers in this world - my super white skin doesn’t come from Mexico!)
It is interesting to note that in my lifetime, I can count on my hand how many Asian men have had the nerve to hit on me. And I can tell you right now, they weren’t any of those stereotypical, skinny, big-glasses having, Kumon-attending Asian guys!
It will be nice to see interracial dating evened out more, and not be so one-sided or disregarded as it often is.
My friend had the same experience with is girlfriend.