Slutty Halloween Costumes
Ariela Haro von Mogel October 31st, 2007
Seriously. What is up with slutty Halloween costumes for women? Ever since I began college, every year, without exception, I see half-naked, freezing women as scandalous Lil’ Bo Peeps or nasty Lil’ Red Ridin’ Hoods. In my humble opinion (it’s actually not very humble, but loud and uncouth), these Halloween outfits are for the uncreative, unimaginative, and the lazy.
But you know what really chafes my hide is the fact that they take legitimately cool costumes and ruin them (okay, maybe not for frat boys and other segments of the male population). It is NOT okay to wear a silver miniskirt, a silver shirt showing all your boobage, a little silver hat, and call yourself The Tin Man. That is a Tin Ho.
American society gives everybody – regardless of gender or race – one precious day out of the year to be an undiluted weirdo. And what do they do? They squander it on outfits that are better met at a strip club or a bar.
I have actually never dressed up like a hooker for Halloween. Even in my teenage years, when I was undoubtedly skinny and stereotypically attractive, I did not stoop that low. I came up with some interesting ideas. One year, I went as Jason. I tore up some old jeans, wore one of my Dad’s work shirts, splattered fake blood on it, donned a Jason mask, and carried around a backpack with one of my Mom’s mannequin heads (from her cosmetology college days) with a screwdriver in the eye. Suffice it to say, I won a gift certificate for most creative Halloween outfit (as I had access to some strange resources) and the freshman boys loved me that year. I also went as the evil witch from the film The Craft. My mom made this friggin’ awesome outfit out of black satin, with flared sleeves and a long, flowing skirt. Even my male classmates commented on the crafts(wo)manship of the dress – and you know it’s cool when guys comment on stuff like that!
So word to the wise. If you’re going to dress like a ho, then dress like a ho. Go to a club or a bar and hook up. Just please don’t do it on Halloween. It’s the last refuge for us weirdoes, and we don’t want it polluted by your typicalness!
Here is a picture of my Prozac necklace – you can’t be a 1950s housewife and not have the psychotropic medication!
Here I am at a restaurant with my 1950s husband.
And finally, an homage to the people who take some time with their Halloween costumes, and don some really neat stuff… What’s up Praying Mantis Dude.
If you want to see more Halloween pictures from Freakfest 2007 at State Street in Madison,Wisconsin, go to the Madison Wiki.
awww. I loved the pics!! they definitely add to the blog. ok, the shirt that says “slutty costume” is great. i want to make one!
horse tranquilizer? does karl have a certain fetish…?
is it true the female preying mantis eats the head of the male during copulation? reasons why would include: higher chance of procreation and it’s energy/resources for the female. but then i read that this was only observed on the insects while they were in captivity and not while out in the wild. do you know anything on this subject?
i think it’s awesome you were cross-dressing as a high school freshman. way to go! as for what people want to wear…i don’t really care about miniskirts in and of themselves. it’s moreso the reasoning they’re wearing them, and even then, i say go ahead and do what you want. i mean, i don’t really get it myself…but as long as they’re not hurting anyone, whatever.
I couldn’t agree with you more. I decided I was going to dress up this year and 95% of the costumes looked like I was either role playing for a sexual encounter or getting ready to walk out of a men’s magazine. So I, like you, created my own costume.
Why do women insist on looking like whores? I’m not saying we should cover ourselves like Muslim women, but seriously I’m soo sick of have girls thinking “leaving some to the imagination” is something from Barney